Feeling Lost & Alone in Your 20’s
Every generation has their struggles, but being in your 20's now feels so draining and exhausting. What is there to look forward to? Why do I feel so hopeless?
It seems that what’s expected of you in your twenties is dictated by society and past generations. In your twenties you're supposed to have your whole life planned out and ready. Moving out of your parents house, going to college and graduating, trying out jobs and eventually finding the one. Your twenties are supposed to be fun, when you’re deciding your future, making new friends and finding a possible partner. It’s an exciting and sometimes stressful time, but you’re experiencing new things and discovering who you are and want to be. Except right now it feels almost impossible to live and find a balance, discover what you want to do…everything is expensive, jobs are fewer and harder to even get an interview. It’s not like this is new, every generation has gone through struggle, but now in 2025 it feels almost hopeless. It doesn’t help that most older generations can’t see (or don’t want to see) how drastically the economy and work scene have changed to keep the goal post farther away.
As a kid growing up, I thought I would be in a very different spot in my twenties than where I am now. I remember planning out my dream career, my future place, and the friends and partner I would have. I knew I wanted to have my own life, be successful, and I can’t help but think I’ve let my younger self down. Maybe my goals were too much, or maybe I put impossible goals on myself and ended up stressing myself out. I know I wanted so much before the age of 26, and each year seems to be going even faster, and I don’t think it will be possible to make those goals before then…
What I wanted in my twenties:
An apartment of my own (just my own place and space)
A 9-5 job, or making money from my art and writing
Friends that can come over on the weekends, parties
Long term boyfriend, get engaged
Travel to a country or 2 (Ireland & Scotland)
Graduated college (Figured out what I wanted to major in)
Feeling isolated & alone in your twenties is something I see many people struggling with. It’s so hard right now to be hopeful, not feeling like anything I do will make an impact, will change my path. It’s hard because I see all these people I used to be friends with having friend groups, going out on the weekends to concerts or events, traveling, meanwhile all I do is work and try to save. Try and save for something that I feel is out of reach. I don’t really have anyone to lean on or turn to. It’s my fault for getting so caught up in the work sphere so early, but the things I want most (a place of my own, to travel, have a family) are expensive, and becoming even more so. It doesn’t feel fair, and most of the time I can’t help but think there’s something wrong with me.
“What’s Wrong with Me?”
This is something I find myself questioning over and over, tossing and turning at night. Why can’t I make friends? Why do people only talk to me but never reach out? Am I too boring? I’m always working and trying to save up money, I hate crowds and concerts, so I don’t have much free time or similar interests. What do people with huge friend groups have that I don’t? I try so hard, I give my time and attention, put a lot of effort into relationships, but maybe I do too much…
Things in My Life That Make Me Feel a Little Better:
My Boyfriend; who is always there for me
The two friends I have left from highschool; I don’t see them much but they always text me back
The coworkers I can always talk to on shift; they’re silly, and I still keep in contact outside of work, they get me through my day
A job and savings
Hobbies to express myself and art
I mostly feel stunted and like I have to make up for lost time. I feel like my parents and family really stunted me in my teens, so I've been using my 20’s so far to try and heal and course correct, make up for experiences I missed out on. I didn't get much support from them, everything I did was expected or just deemed progress. I wasn't allowed out often or to hang out with friends, they had this idea of me that wasn't me. I feel like I have to start over, and it feels so much harder now. Like I’m starting from scratch socially.
Still, I’m trying to be thankful for where I am, what I have, and make-do and heal seems to be what I need to work towards. I've been trying to make baby steps and little progress feel better than it does. I'm trying to find a job that allows me time to work on my hobbies and have fun. I'm trying to figure out a more concrete and realistic timeline for goals I have (more realistic than what 12 year old me planned anyway), when I can accomplish them with the awful economy and job market right now. I'm trying to break out of my shell, go on more small trips, meet new people, establish firmer boundaries and cut off toxic people (even if that's family). I feel like I don't have much time, I feel behind in so many ways, but I need to understand that everyone's lives are different. Everything happens at different times and periods in life. It may not be what I originally planned, but maybe it'll be better. I’m trying to rewire my brain, but it really is harder than ever. I’m honestly just trying to remember that I am not alone in this, even though it may feel that way. Things will work out as they should, even if it’s hard and slow at times.
