Back to School (Why Do I Miss It?)
I actually love back to school time and loved it when I was a kid. I looked forward to it. I’m not sure if it’s because I liked school and have a nostalgia for it, or if it’s a sign of summer being over and going into fall. I always loved getting my school supplies and getting new clothes. I liked seeing what my classes would be, who my teachers would be. I loved getting all my stuff ready...I didn’t like the nerves the first day would give me though. I think I just liked the structure and seeing friends again.
My favorite classes in school were definitely english and history, but I also loved anything artsy. I really enjoyed my psychology and psychology, photography classes on top of my cooking classes. I loved most of my teachers and have good memories with my english and history teachers! I’ve kept a lot of my notebooks with writings in them along with some artwork. It might be bad writing and art, but I had to start my writing journey somewhere. I do wish there would have been more opportunities available to me during middle school and high school, but I guess that’s what happens at small schools.
I think one of the main things about my time in school that I miss is easily being able to talk to people and join things. I think that was one of the only perks of going to a smaller school was that everyone kind of knew each other...the downside being everyone kind of knew each other and there weren’t many extra curriculars. Still, while I didn’t have many friends, or wasn’t really talked to outside of school or invited to things, at least while I was in school, I had people to be around. I could pretend and gaslight myself into thinking I had friends. I wasn’t alone at lunch or during breaks. I wish I could make friends easily now, I don’t know what’s wrong with me that nobody wants to talk to me...but I can still think back on fond memories. Homecoming, spirit weeks, inside jokes in class, relationships and so many other things....
Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about college and finally thinking about attending. wanted to go because I wanted to go, not because "it's what you're supposed to do". I didn’t have a clue of what I wanted to go for and didn’t want to waste money scrambling and wandering, just trying to get through classes. I obviously went for a year after high school, but dropped out after going through a major depressive episode and having the highest levels of anxiety, depression, and isolation I'd ever experienced! But, I’ve been working on myself and saving money, so I think it’s finally my time to go!
I want to go for, Archeology and Historic Preservation. I love history and old buildings and castles, so why not learn more. It would definitely be a challenge for me, I'm not good at math or science, but I think I could do it! I just have to figure out a school and come up with a plan. I also want to try so many more activities and extra curriculars if possible!
Activities I Want to Try & Sign Up For: I want to try and get out of my comfort zone, but also try things I didn’t have time or money for!
Ice-Skating/Figure Skating
Ballet Lessons
Ballroom Dance?
Yoga or Pilates
Still, for anyone starting college or first days of any grade, remember just have fun and learn as much as you can. Be yourself, do your best! School can be hard and it can be scary, but it can also be some of your fondest memories. You can do anythng you put your mind to. I’m wishing everyone the best of luck! No matter where you are, what you’re studying, nervous or excited, I’ll be rooting for your success this year in classese, finding friends, and discovering who you are! :)
