Advice from Cupid: Things I Wish I Could’ve Told My Younger Self
Just some thoughts from my journal, and advice I would have given through the years and still do!
Relationship Counselor:
For some reason I’ve always been the person that friends, coworkers, or just random people come to for advice on relationships. Sometimes they just need to talk about what’s happening in their relationship, sometimes they’re looking for an unbiased opinion and guidance, other times they aren’t sure how to approach their crush or significant other on their emotions they’re feeling. Sometimes I get to hear all the good stuff, and other times all the bad. Maybe I just come across as a safe person? I mean all sorts of people have told me all kinds of things, even if I barely know them…
I’m not an expert on any of this stuff, I mean who is? (Someone who’s actually licensed as a Counselor)
But I’ve been through all types of relationships (good, bad, neutral), seen them on TV and in movies, read books. I’m a hopeless romantic, but when asked for advice, I try to give advice I would give myself...things that make sense.
A few things to think about…
+What do you want out of this relationship?
+Do you see yourself with this person a week from now? A few months? A Year?
-What role do they play?
+Are your needs and expectations being met? Are your partner’s?
-Are these achievable and attainable?
+Do you feel safe, comfortable, and listened to?
+Are you prepared to fight for this relationship?
Emotions & Comfort:
You’re bound to go through endless changing emotions, thoughts and opinions in any relationship, whether it be with a friend, partner, or family members. Sometimes things get heated, you’ll get upset or argue. Sometimes you’ll feel bored or cooled off. There’s so many ups and downs, but it’s important to reel yourself in and focus.
Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!
No change comes if you bottle everything up inside. Don’t pretend like everything is fine if it isn’t. Trying to talk about serious topics in a relationship can be scary, but it’s so important. Grab a friend, write down what you want to say, say it in the mirror. You should never feel scared to express your feelings or ask questions.
“The worst thing you can do is keep your thoughts and feelings trapped inside,”
The “3 Month Rule” + 2:
This is a “trick” I’ve heard my whole life, which may sound stupid but it really is true. The point is if your partner acts a certain way for 3 months, and then doesn’t change after 2 more, that’s probably how they’ll act for the rest of your relationship. Those 5 months help you to understand who your partner is as a person. Were they what you expected? Did they change immediately after 3 months? This just helps you to see the type of person you’ll be with quickly. Don’t waste your time if they are fake or using you or giving mixed signals…
Relationships Are Hard!
If they were easy wouldn’t everyone be in one that was perfect? I mean living in a fairytale wouldn’t be so bad. But, just like life, relationships teach us lessons we take with us. You learn what you like, what you dislike, grow a voice, or learn things about yourself you wouldn’t otherwise know. Sometimes relationships are hard, but only the strongest will make it through. You’ll know what’s right, work through those lows and enjoy the highs. Maybe you’ll get lucky and end up with your dream partner. Everything takes time, and sometimes things come at the oddest times. Be patient and strong.
“Love can’t be manufactured,”
Not everyone will want a relationship either. That’s ok too. It’s just important that you put effort in for what you want, just like anything else in life.
Just some final thoughts…
+Show that you are thankful to your partner
+Respect yourself and your partner (unless they’re shitty then run!)
+Show grace and dignity, be confident, speak up!
+Be yourself, don’t change for someone
+NEVER SETTLE!
+Know you are worthy of love and being loved
Again I’m not an expert, these are just my thoughts and opinions. Feel free to share yours in the comments below!
